If you are recently engaged, This coming Sunday may be the first time you celebrate two women on mother’s day! Bride and Mother of the groom dynamics can sometimes be tricky to navigate, but we are here to help! Here are 10 simple ways you could include your future MIL in the wedding planning process!
1: Ask her what wedding planning tasks she wanted to be involved in!
OK, this sounds super obvious but it’s a great starting point! There might be some things she has more expertise in or cares about more than others. Use her passion for those tasks as an opportunity to bond! If you include your MIL on the experiences she has on the top of her wish list you are going to be off to a great start!
2: Attend a bridal show together
Inviting her to one of our bridal shows is a super fun and easy way to kick off the wedding planning process! Check out all the vendors, enter giveaways, touch and taste the products and attend a fashion show, what more could you (or your mother-in-law) ask for!? It’s also nice to have a couple extra pairs of eyes and ears while at the show because they can become a little overwhelming (in a good way of course!). Go out to lunch after and digest all the information and inspiration! Mark your calendar! Twin Cities Bridal Show is September 23rd in Saint Paul, Unveiled is November 11th in Minneapolis and October 21st in Rochester.
3: Welcome her input for your registry
Registering for wedding gifts can be super fun but also a little daunting. If you are a younger bride or will be buying your first home, it can be hard to decide what items will truly be useful and practical. This is a wonderful opportunity to tap your MIL for some of her favorite home items to register for.
4: Invite her to appointments
Inviting your future mother-in-law to appointments really shows how much you value her help and input. If you are a little nervous about this one, make sure you go in with a strong sense of what you want and guide the conversation with the vendor, sometimes it helps to have a private conversation with the vendor prior to the appointment. This will ensure that you don’t get swayed into conversations that aren’t in line with your vision.
5: Shop for her dress together
Set aside a shopping day just for your mother-in-law. This is one day of planning that can be all about her! Make appointments at a few places so the two of you can take your time and enjoy the experience. If she is shopping on her own or lives in a different city, make her feel included and important by asking questions about what she is planning on wearing or having her send photos of her dress, but don’t criticize her selections. Remind her that most salons do not sell special occasion dresses off the rack, they must be order so plan about 6 months out!
6: Let her take the lead on the rehearsal dinner
This pre-wedding event is traditionally hosted by the groom’s family, but truly letting her take the lead and giving some input when asked will show how much you trust her and value her. This works great if she can do the leg work and come up with a few options of her choice and then you can work together to narrow down each piece of the party.
7: Invite her to your Pinterest Board.
This one might be the simplest of them all! Don’t we all have dream wedding Pinterest boards!? Create a board and invite her to be a collaborator, you can even have her pin some of her own ideas. This can also be a great tool to use before inviting her to appointments because she will have a better idea of your taste and vision for the big day. Inviting her to pin her own ideas might open your eyes to creative or different ideas you’ve never even thought of!
8: Set aside some one-on-one time
This is great, especially if you have just recently met your future MIL and need to do some catching up before the big day. Plan a lunch, spa day or just a casual coffee date at your place to catch up and get to know each other better. It can be fun to have her bring her wedding album and get an idea of what her big day was like. Take this time to share your own vision for your day and fill her in on any details you may have already set.
9: Invite her to the day-of festivities.
If you and your wedding party are getting your hair and makeup done together, invite her to attend the same salon or schedule an appointment for her. Consider scheduling a hair and makeup team to come onsite and doll up your entire party, including your MIL
10: Talk to your fiancé
Keep in mind, this is your fiancé’s mother (obviously), but he should also be setting aside time to spend quality time with his mom during the planning process. She will most likely want to be included on some of the decisions he is making too. You can also consult your fiancé for any advice or input on what she might want to be included in or like.